Roadkills R' Us
"Dedicated to recycling as far up the food chain as possible, RRU (TM) is known throughout the inner solar system for its fine food and other products made from roadkill," according to the RRU (Roadkills 'R Us) home page. What started off as a joke gone awry in Usenet, RRU has evolved into an ever-expansive Web site chock-full of hysterical "Network News"and miscellaneous weird stuff. The menu bar, which makes full use of frames (part of the HTML 3.0 spec.), uses cartoon-like flat animal graphics with tire tread marks across their backs. Poor taste or outstanding humor; you be the judge.

There's also the infamous price list, perhaps the most popular aspect of the site. Scroll through a seemingly endless list of road kill animals to find their current market value - displayed in pretty Netscape tables, yes they know *all* the tricks. An extra large chicken is $333.33, an aardvark is $2.50, a sucrose-laden, purple dinosaur is $2,000,000,000, and a male or female member of the White House staff is $1,000,000 per pound. Don't think that's all the fun. The corporate culture section, a relentless stab at suit-life, is a frenzy of creative stories and pseudo documentaries, written extremely well I might add.

Also found in the corporate culture area is a list of employee benefits, "Our benefits are at least the equal of those given by the US military: long hours, low pay, hard work, we may treat you like dirt, and you have a good chance of getting shot at." Heh. I wonder what the market value for disgruntled employees is... It seems the site creators have run into a bit of a stint with Toys R Us (TRU). O.K., it's more than that. One day, not so long ago, the folks at RRU got a letter from the corporate offices of TRU. "Your use of this term is likely to cause confusion with respect to our marks..." We can only assume the rest (or visit the site to view the entire correspondence) - it's turning into quite a heated battle. Follow the site for regular updates.

Overall Roadkills R' Us embodies the "that's entertainment" philosophy. It tackles some serious issues as it questions corporate culture and the nature of big business with the intelligent sarcasm and irreverence that is ever-prevalent online. Five gold stars and a big fat elk from me. -BG

A+

Biologically Bizarre
From the pages of the Not Yet Web site come a collection of biological improbabilities having more to do with the mental ramblings of a bored college student than biology itself. The page is filled with cartoony graphics of these genetically manipulated monstrosities, each with a paragraph describing their proposed function. The Greasy Lips will clean out the filthy bottoms of fast food greasers. The Nail Snail will sit on your desk and bite your nails to a perfect shape. It's cute, without being too annoying. Now I have to feed my Review Writer so it won't be so cranky.-MP

B

Boulder Vegetable Rights Association
This activist group from Colorado is out to defend the defenseless little guys of the biosphere: vegetables. Why do vegetarians find it so wrong to eat animals when millions of vegetables give up their lives for their gastronomic pleasure everyday? The Boulder Vegetable Rights Association unearths this hypocrisy with a collection of Usenet posts, advice for the recovering vegetarian, and some shocking photos of vegetables being butchered for human consumption. The site could be better-organized, and there could be a more information on the group itself, but it makes a good visit. I don't think I can ever look a tofu squarely in the eye again.-MP

B+

Encounters Here we have a man who has been visited by Zoonch, a propheteering space alien shedding light on the path to peace and joy. It sounds a little too Haight Ashbury 1968, but nonetheless, it's an interesting read. But guess what, kids? That's all you get. It's one *long* page of text excerpts from a book about this experience with Zoonch that the site creator no doubt wants us to buy - 1-800 number included. So, yes, it's bizarre, and unless you are super interested in hippie space creatures, it's also useless.-BG

C-

Fig Bar Man For President
Forget Dole, Clinton, and LaRouche. The real front runner in '96 is Fig Bar Man. If you visit the Fig Bar Man's Presidential Campaign HQ, you'll read parts of his platform, press conference transcripts, and the latest poll information on a guy who has presidential aspirations and dresses like a Fig Newton. The premise is good, but there isn't enough material to make the campaign seem convincing - no "campaign" photos, charts, or weird political analysis. None of the trappings that would make this a truly great site. Now I do have a Devil Dog that would make a great vice president...-MP

C+

Foam Bath Fish Time
When you first enter this site, you'll see a collection of foam fish displaying the current time on the sides of their bodies. (I was hoping the fish would run around and spell out the time or something more grandiose.) While somewhat charming as it is, I have a little clock in the upper corner of my computer that can tell time too. The page also includes some clock and time links from around the world, and a collection of pun-infested fan mail. It's a solid piece of Web work and worth a look, but it didn't really float my boat, if you catch my drift.-MP

B+

Froggy Page
Ribbit. If you like frogs - ribbit ribbit - you'll certainly enjoy the Froggy Page, with its dozens and dozens of frog-related links and info. First, you get froggy pictures. Mostly, the image section consists of links to other sites that contain frog GIFs and JPEGs. But then, there are froggy sounds, froggy songs, and froggy tales - "The Toad Prince," and "The Wind in the Willows," to name a few. The frog anatomy section will fulfill the needs of the scientist within and, of course, there's quite a list of Kermit thee frog links, too. And remember, on the Internet, nobody knows you're a frog...-BG

A-

LoserNet LoserNet is the continuing online journal of a truly pathetic, purported 42-year-old virgin loser. Almost every day, he adds a paragraph to a continuing saga describing his escapades to the gym, where he feels awkward, or his time at home in a tiny apartment, where he obsesses about his neighbors. Sad as it is, the journal kept me occupied for over an hour, and I had hardly scratched the surface. Sure, there are no graphics, and the 115k text files are a bit awkward to load, but it's sort of like watching a car wreck. Read it before he goes into therapy and becomes normal.-MP

B+

MELVIN
MELVIN is a humor magazine that bills itself as America's First Web site. While it might not be the first, it's certainly one of the better ones. Opening with a big newspaper-esque splash page with a "fake" tabloid story headline, MELVIN stands out. Followed by more "news" items, pop culture articles, and even interviews with bands, the magazine manages to be funny most of the time. Navigating the site is a bit of an exercise, however, as a clear table of contents is hard to find. Unfortunately, there hasn't been a new issue posted since June 1995. Too bad. -MP

A-

Schwa
What might be bizarre to you is deep brain food to some, and satire to still others. Schwa is whatever you want it to be, a movement of anti-culture or a space alien freak phenomena. The site is as ambiguous as the "movement"itself. Pictures of cartoony little grays (space creatures with big eyes) adorn the Gallery, while sound clips, press clips, and Schwa merchandise fill up the rest. It needs some color, and a suped-up spaceship logo gyrating across the top might be nice. But as far as originality and fun factors go, Schwa rocks!-BG

B+

The Giant Hatpin Collection
Here is the work of someone who is either extremely patient or very obsessed. Or perhaps both. I can do nothing but revere this site, which functions as a tribute to one person's hatpin collection. View the top level group photo, or see the collection divided into categories - animals, military, boy scout, safety awards, etc. But the clincher is: Each and every one of these buggers also has a close-up treatment photo, for detailed inspections, no doubt. It's quite a spectacle.-BG

A-

TOES Do you have strong feelings about toes? Love 'em? Wish that people had unremovable plastic molded boots like an action figure? This site includes a form that you use to post your feelings about toes and a page to read what other people have posted. No pictures of disgusting feet, no toe-related links, not even a listing of podiatry schools or foot fetish counseling centers. If you're going to tackle the oft-overlooked subject of our nethermost extremities, you've got to do it right. But for now, just go here and post stuff about fingers, the Superior Digits! -MP

C

Tres Bizzare
Sometimes there is a case to be made that a site is good, even without a shred of original content. Those questing for "bizarre" sites on the Web no longer need to rely on casual coincidence (i.e., the occasional click to an unexpected surprise), but can now count on Dave's Tres Bizarre page. Dave hunts around for kooky sites and posts a new one each day. (He also archives the old ones.) And to his credit, the sites he chooses are, in fact, very kooky and creative, and will link you to the Web-O-Tainment you may be looking for. YeeHaw! Nice layout, too.-BG

A

Troquista Home Page Arm your guns, we're warriors in a monster truck shoot-out. The Troquistas have joined forces with other anti-Doctress fanatics to bring us this site - one of many, anti-Neutopian Web pages. (The Doctress is a bizarre Usenet newsgroup personality who spews utopian-like visions she calls Neutopia.) While the Troquista sect of the rebel force has a small page with some less-than-savvy design skills (links to ASCII text and a distracting background), it's possible you might not care about graphics by this point. The content is so very hysterical that it *should* be read. Outstanding!-BG

B+